MORE JOKES
TEN BEST THINGS TO SAY IF YOU GET CAUGHT SLEEPING AT YOUR DESK:
10....."They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
9....."This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to."8....."Whew! Guess I left the top off the White Out. You probably got here just in time!"
7....."I wasn"t sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm."
6....."I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."
5....."I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?"
4....."Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."
3....."The coffee machine is broken..."
2....."Someone must' have put decaf in the wrong pot..."
AND THE #1 BEST THING TO SAY IF YOU GET CAUGHT SLEEPING AT YOUR DESK....
1....." In Jesus' name. Amen."
The Atheist in the Woods
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that the "accident of evolution" had created.
"What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look.
He saw a 7-foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path.
He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him.
He ran even faster, so scared that tears were coming to his eyes. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster.
He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.
At that instant the Atheist cried out "Oh my God!....."
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
Even the river stopped moving.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky, "You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist, and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps could you make the bear a Christian?"
"Very well," said the voice.
The light went out.
The river ran again.
And the sounds of the forest resumed.
And then the bear dropped his right paw ..... brought both paws together and bowed his head and
spoke:
"Lord, for this food which I am about to receive, I am truly thankful."
